5 types of guys I dated in Berlin
I just came out from a long term relationship when I came to Berlin last year. We did the entire shebang — we started as LDR, lived together, then broke up. You know, normal stuff. After that, I knew I wasn’t ready for a long term relationship but just wanted to get out there and start dating. Why? Because I wanted to:
- Understand what I wanted in a romantic relationship
- Immerse myself in the Berlin dating world
- Increase my self worth & confidence after not dating for awhile
Disclaimer: I met most of these guys in dating apps. No, I am not a fan. Yes, it was the only way to meet people. No, I haven’t received a dick pic. Yes, I got invited to a threesome.
Here are the types of guys you end up dating in Berlin.
- The Creative
I’ve met different kinds of creative people in Berlin — from musicians, painters, yoga instructors, DJs. You name it, they’re probably here. But, this particular creative I dated was a pastry chef. Let’s call him *Peter. I have dated Peter for 2 months. It was a food-filled, beer-drinking, and sex-lacking kind of dating. It was innocent and sweet. Then, we realized we’re just bored of each other so I messaged him during the Christmas holidays that it was best to just end it. He took it well which I expected from him.
2. The Entrepreneur/Founder
Berlin is a huge startup hub. It’s a place where you meet investors, founders, and entrepreneurs. It has strong government support for new & innovative businesses. It’s one of the reasons why I wanted to be here. So, it’s inevitable that you end up dating an *Adam. Adam is smart, well-traveled, ambitious, and a social butterfly. You like Adam because you discover new things from him. Things you’ve never thought existed. His ambition though is as strong as his opinions. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a very opinionated woman myself. But, there is a limit. At some point, we ended up talking in long-ass messages about why it’s inappropriate for white people to speak about Black Lives Matter. It just got out of hand and I remember that my last message was “I can’t handle this amount of negativity”. And that’s how our love story ended.
3. The Please-ask-me-a-question guy (in other words, boring as fuck)
You might think why even include him on the list. Boring people do not deserve a place here. That’s the point, I need to include them here so his kind knows how they are perceived. Thomas is a pretty, blond, blue-eyed, tall & stable German. If you want to know how a typical German man looks like, it’s probably a *Thomas. Thomas is exactly that, a very good looking man. Unfortunately, I spent 2 hours of my life in a bar where we played 10,000 questions and where he only asked “how about you?”. I thought you know what, maybe his good looks are as good as his kisses. By the end of the date, he told me I was beautiful (I cringe) and then kissed me. Yes, it was as bad as his social skills. That was my last chance of potentially having beautiful multilingual babies (and a passport to a first world country).
4. The I-don’t-believe-in-love guy
The more dates you have, the more chances you end up with a guy like *Cameron. Cameron is an amazing guy. He’s the guy you can introduce to your parents. He’s good looking, has a good job, has a very active lifestyle, a good cook (yes, I need that), and most importantly, was good in bed. The only thing you want more from Cameron is commitment. Unfortunately, that’s not something Camerons offer. I dated Cameron the longest because he is your typical fuck boy. He would tell you he adores but cannot commit but offer things only a boyfriend can offer. So, I ended up thinking that I could change that. I know, TYPICAL. Eventually, I saw his real colors when he started swiping on Bumble while we’re seated 5 inches away from each other.
5. The Confused
*Leo is the only guy I met initially IRL. I met him through a friend. Leo is a good guy. He treated me well — cooked me breakfast, introduced me to his friends, went to nice parties, stayed at home & watched funny movies, etc. We spoke often and enjoyed each other’s company. However, Leo is a very confused boy. One day he likes you, the next day he ghosts you. One day he kisses you, the next day he chats you up like an old buddy from high school. It’s hard to fuck up a relationship with Leo because you guys have mutual friends. So, I decided to be civil with him and not get caught in his confused state.
*Names were changed to protect the not-so-innocent.
Dating is hard. But here’s what I learned: You need a Peter to explore a new city. You need an Adam to expand your horizon of what’s out there. You need a Thomas to test your social skills. You need a Cameron to remind you that at the end of the day, you want a relationship. Lastly, a Leo will teach you not to destroy friendships because you need them when you’re on your own in a big city.
Despite all the no’s, I did enjoy dating these guys. It helped me understand what kind of guy will match my personality & needs. It helped me communicate better. Most importantly, it made me discover all of Berlin’s neighborhoods in less than 6 months.
